2017-07-02

Keep busy - keep dreaming!

Don't waste time. But there will be a day tomorrow.
Keep busy. But relax and be in the moment.
Work hard. But take care of yourself and don't stress out.

Anyone else but me having trouble to combine all these smart sayings in real life?

Life is now, and I do want to live it. I crave experiences and adventure. I need money to fulfill some of my dreams, and I need to work to get money.

I love to just be in the moment, enjoying music, nature, people, silence. Here and now. The wind caressing the trees. The smell of strawberries. Cold beer so tasty in the mouth. Sunsets colouring the skies and someone touching you lovingly.

I love a challenge, writing, dreaming, planning. Hoping and wanting.

But...

How the hell will all this work out for me?

I did the working-hard thing many years ago and ended up very depressed and without any energy at all. Since then I'm allergic to stress. I tried working hard enough, but not too hard - it worked for a while. But they didn't want to hire me "for real", so I worked for free. Then I got fed up.

Looking for a job, yes. I am looking for that not too much but challenging enough but not too hard....... Jesus!

Am I making it too hard for myself? Just take the first job and see what happens, kind of. Well, yeah sure. Trial and error. Why not? My poor self-esteem can't cope but whatever!

I know what I need to do. I need to write and write and write. Get published. Get money. Move to America. Keep writing. Keep busy. Keep dreaming.

Keep living.


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