Lost in darkness

It's been over a month since last time I wrote. Sorry about that. To be honest, I haven't been feeling very well. Some days have been great, but mostly I've been feeling down and having no energy.

I'm so longing for good energy, good vibes and feeling happy.

As usual, the tools for achieving that is patience, taking good care of yourself and just trying to be in the moment. But that's not always so easy. Being down, day after day, doesn't make me very hopeful - it just makes me more aware of all the shit that is around. Negativity. Bad stuff.

Don't tell me, "but the sun is shining". I know it is. It's lovely. But bad days magically not just transform into beautiful, shiny days of wonder and joy because of the weather. Maybe that happens to other people, but not to me.

I'm lost in my darkness.

Cry me a river, I know...

Whatever, it's Friday. Tomorrow I'm off to my sister to celebrate her birthday. I have stuff to look forward to, for sure. I just wish I could feel good about this little thing called my life.

All of you out there, who lives and battles with bipolar disorder just like me: You are doing great! Even if it's hell getting out of bed, even if all you've done today is moved from the bed to the sofa, even if you might be manic right now and everyone around you thinks you are a pain in the ass. Remember, all of you, YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!

Because we are doing the best we can with this hell-disorder that fucks with us all the fucking time.

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