February Feelings

So far, February is its usual grey delight... Outside at least. Inside, well, I'm not sure. I'm fine, more than fine mostly, but life is always unpredictable and kind of weird.

You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow or even within the next few hours. Do you? Well, you might think that you do, but no one ever knows for sure.

Good and bad, at the same time. Exciting perhaps, or just scary if you think about it too much.

Why am I going on about this? I have to write about something, don't I, and today my head is filled with stuff like this. What will happen?

My life was "on hold" for such a long time, it's not anymore. The last few years good things have happened and progress has been made. For sure. But still... I need a job. I need to finish the book I'm writing and become this great writer I know I should be. I really want to be happy in love for once in my life, and make that guy the happiest guy alive.

In short, I have many exciting things to live for. But, also, I've been fighting for a fucking long time now and am getting tired of lots and lots of bullshit.

No more drama, please.

Just love!

And YES, I know extremely well that it is up to me. Shut the fuck up! Maybe I'm telling myself this, to shut the fuck up and just relax...

I also think that I deserve to be healthy and happy and that I deserve a good life. Just for being me. I am worth equally much as you are, or anybody else. Not more, not less, just as much!

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