It's hard work to be positive, to stay positive. It's a choice, a choice you have to make several times every day. I'm not sure I will make it. In the end, my thoughts have a tendency to become dark. Life is hard. You get disappointed over and over again. People let you down. You let yourself down.
I love smiling. I love laughter. I love people.
But some days...
Some days I really hate myself, my life, everything about being alive. Being human. God, why? How did you think?
Humans lie, manipulate, talk behind each others backs. We want to be loved but behave like fucking assholes. What's so loveable about that?
We cry and beg, please love me! And sure, everyone deserves love in their life. I think that I do. But we really do have to understand one thing: if YOU want to be loved, then YOU have to send out love.
How? Well, try to be kind. Be kind without expecting something in return. That would be a start.
Then, just wait and see what happens.
No more EGO.
I'm sick of people with a big ego, no trust and yet demanding so many things and on top of it screaming love me love me love me. Fuck the hell off and come back with a healthier view on life, please!
And yes, I'm sick of myself too. But you already know that.
I'm not demanding anything though, just wishing and hoping someone will take my kindness for real and taking me, Maria, seriously and I will love that person eternally!
I will keep trying to be positive. More and more every day.
It's a challenge.
A challenge for life, I get that.
But it's nicer to smile and be quiet than getting angry and say stupid things. Sometimes.
Getting angry takes so much energy. It's better to laugh. Always.
Hugs and love from me to you!